Junkyard Wars
by Tsumii
Summary: So what happens when young Sakura Haruno finds herself being thrown into another foster home, in a trailer park no less, having to deal with freaks, creeps and geeks? Not too mention a chicken haired jerk, and what the devil is a Junkyard War? [SasuSaku]
1. Chapter 1

**Tsumii:** Well hello, I probably shouldn't be starting this because I haven't finished my other stories but I just felt like putting this out there, its an idea that's been throwing itself around in my head for a while so meh, here it is.

This is a Sasuke x Sakura pairing though there may be some hints of other couplings and possible love triangles, not too mention that the relationships will most likely take some time to develop (just like in real life eh?) because I don't like the idea of people just magically falling in love so fast that it just seems dumb and overall unbelievable.

Now I must warn you, the first few chapters are probably going to be agonizingly slow, and I tried to add some humour too make up for it, but I really wanted to build a base for this. Bah, author notes are boring just read! XD!

**Summary:** So what happens when young Sakura Haruno finds herself being thrown into another foster home, in a trailer park no less, having to deal with freaks, creeps and geeks? Not too mention schools a disaster, home life should be on paper view and what the devil is a Junkyard War? Oh the humanity! SasuSaku

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, if you here otherwise it's all lies!

**NOTE:** This will probably be told from Sakura's POV but I'm not sure if I'll keep it that way, the first chapter is definitely told from that I guess I'll base it on reviews.

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**Junkyard Wars**

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**Chapter One**

Bah, this is so stupid, it's so stupid it's like…it's like one of those dumb infomercials that have no point except to repeat themselves over and over again, like a broken record or something. I mean all they do is rearrange every possible word, sentence, noun or verb imaginable to make it seem like there is a spec of creative thinking behind the washout, low paid probably old smelly perverted writers that have no life except to replicate sentences over and over again about some stupid toothbrush while a scantily dressed prostitute smiles about how the damn contraption has changed her life and now she'll write a book about it or something.

Ok I should take a deep breath because that sentence was just running on as long as this stupid dirt road in the middle of no where is. I mean honestly what is wrong with Children's Aid? Are they composed of a couple of morons, or perhaps a large supply of monkeys who sit there on typewriters all day pondering on how to write the next great novel of our time? Well it doesn't matter Children's Aid in my mind has hit a new low if they think I'll be safe living in some hickish town located probably farther than somewhere over the rainbow. I mean I'm a simple young girl at the fine age of sixteen who is still getting treated as if there's a large diaper under my belt. So what if this is my…uh…one, two, three…bah there is too many to count, lets just say it's a large number of foster homes. I'm independent and I most certainly kick ass but nooo, I'm still too immature, still too young to be granted the opportunity to live on my own.

Other kids get to do it at my age; hell people even younger than me get to live by themselves but me? Nope, no sir, it doesn't matter that I'm a first degree black belt, or that I'm always top of my class at every damn school I'm sent too, or or…well there are other accomplishments but I'm far too lazy too think about those right now. I'll just sit here and die. Well the breeze does feel nice but this weird person beside me doesn't seem to want to shut up. I feel sorry for this guy though, I know I can be a handful at times. Well enough inner complaining or strange thoughts about bow tie pasta, hmmm some of that would be good right now.

"…and the kids are really friendly Sakura, I know your just going to love it, I assure you!" Huh? Did you say something I was too busy thinking about the love of my life, with its cute little frilly edges and the array of colours it comes in, oh lets not forget the delicious scent it carries when the water is bubbled to the perfect degree. Well I better say something or this strange Children's Aid dude may become suspicious and annoying. "Sure, sounds wonderful" Oh feel the love, I am an amazing actress, he didn't suspect a thing, this bizarre guy with the scar across his nose, what was his name again? Iku? No that's not it, uhh...Iraki? Iraku? Iruki? Oh wait Iruki! Yeah that sounds familiar. "So Iruki-san, how did you get that weird scar on your nose?"

What an odd expression, I didn't think someone could stop mid-sentence and make there face jerk at weird angles like that. "He, he, he your expression is stupid Iruki-san!" Oh I don't think he's happy about that line, something about that increasing twitch in his left eye is telling me so, must be that woman's intuition I here so much about.

"That's Iruka-san, and you shouldn't call your superiors stupid Sakura, it's impolite and offends people." Oh great he's got that teacherish tone not to mention that finger wagging really makes him look like some old bitty with her wig screwed on too tight and a pole jammed a little too far up her ass. "Sure sure, Iruki-san, but you didn't tell me about the scar" I wonder if all adults can be so forgetful I mean honestly, I asked it only a few seconds ago and already this scar-faced, weird named guy is forgetting, I guess people are just dumb. How strange, it might just be me but I think his eye is twitching again. "It's Iruka-san, and you shouldn't ask such personal information about people you don't know Sakura, it seems you are yet to be taught some manners missy" I can already feel the mouth dropping and eye jerking within me, he just…he…he called…HE CALLED ME MISSY! What the hell? Do I look 75? Do I have an old lady name like Margaret or Ruth? I can hear my knuckles cracking; glad to know my body is already taking action as my thought process is currently running rampant in the fiery depths of hell planning for the death of this bastard! "Sakura, were here"

"What?" I can feel bright lights and a chorus of Alleluias as I am pulled from my reverie of pitchforks and lots of fire to the present. Shaking my head I turn to see the scar faced bastard behind the wheel of this crappy rundown white neon I find myself trapped within, staring ahead with a large grin plastered on his face. What the hell does such a lame person have to smile about?

All of these previous thoughts are forgotten though as I turn to behold what stands in front of me. What the hell is this? This, this… "THIS IS IT?" Oops didn't mean for that to be out loud but honestly what the hell? In front of me is sitting the ugliest, crappiest pile of scrap metal ever to be beheld by my eyes. It looks like a large silver mashed up Twinkie. Actually Twinkies are really good, but now is not the times to think of that lovely golden submarine filled with delicious pastry goodness. No now is the time too beat the hell out of the bastard sitting beside me. "Iruki-san…." Oh I can here the note of death laced in my tone already. I wonder if I've been possessed by the devil himself as I can already feel my body being consumed by a burning inferno. "It's Iruka-san, and is there something wrong Sakura?" Yup, he really is a moron, can he not see that we are parked in front of a trailer, actually were parked in front of a whole row of trailers, wait are these even trailers because all I see are pieces of metal that look as if they were thrown into a very large blender before being repeatedly smashed in by sledgehammers and then thrown off Mount Everest. Oh my, if I look behind me there are even more of these ugly metal heaps, well Iruki-san it seems you are incapable of reading a map as it would appear we are now stuck in a Trailer Park Boys episode all that's left to do is wait for Bubbles to jump out.

What? No retarded guy with freaky fish bowl glasses? Today is not my lucky day. "Sakura?" Oh right he asked a question. Well I was about to bring hell upon his ass but he obviously has a guardian angel because suddenly the front to the silver crap pile has been blown open and now I find myself starring up at someone who I officially do not believe human. OH MY GOD! Is it legal to be that creepy? Why the hell are those eyebrows that huge? Is that spandex? GREEN SPANDEX! Okay I must have stepped into the twilight zone because this can't be happening, its some freaky dream right? RIGHT?

Well it looks like Iruki-bastard has stepped out of the car, and…what the hell? Iruki-bastard I had no idea you were a homosexual. Honestly you should be upfront with a matter like that. I mean just the sight of you has caused the green uh…beast? To pounce on you and lay his sharp claws around you in an earth shattering hug. Wow, when people blush I always thought they turned red but your turning blue. Bah, it doesn't matter, I guess we were just taking a detour so you could visit your gay lover but I don't know why you couldn't have done that after you dropped me at what ever foster home I will call my house for the next few weeks. I know I'll be returned to Children's Aids care once more shortly just like every other time.

Well it looks like your embrace has ended for the time being, but why are you motioning me to come out of the car? Oh I hope you don't have any perverted thoughts in that bastard head of yours. Oh well lets find out what you want.

"Sakura, I'd like you too meet Maito Gai, he will be your foster parent from now on" Yup, definite mouth dropping right now, hmm, the ground is dirty I think that might be grape flavoured gum I'm tasting… ewww that's nasty. Back to the matter at hand though, what the hell is Iruki-bastard talking about, aren't we visiting his gay lover?

"Ahh such beauty! And you possess it in the springtime of your youth!" What? That green creature actually speaks, and so loudly I think my ears are going to break. "Uhh..hi?" Well that was original I guess but why should I say anything more to such strange people. "Iruka, this stunning flower will be put under my care and if I am not able too care and nurture her in the best possible manner I will run 300 laps around town. Town? I don't see any town; all I see are more ugly metal pieces littering this scary nightmare place that Iruki-bastard has brought me too.

"Yes, well I'll get her things for you, why don't you two get acquainted." Iruki-bastard, your confusing me, I can't possibly be expected to live in that silver heap that looks like a feather could bring it tumbling down, like London bridge or something.

Well looks like Iruki-bastard is busying himself in the car, hopefully calling animal control to come and pick up the strange green animal standing in front of me. "Now Sakura, I want you too call me Daddy at all times, alright? This will show off your awesome youth power and make the tears of joy flood from me eyes" Did he just ask me to call him Daddy?

"I'm sorry but I can't do that"

I can't. I can't call anyone else that besides _him_, my light, my guidance, my shelter, my dad. I'm surprised though, my words to this freak were so steady so calm, bah I'm thinking too much, that's the past it doesn't matter, you can't change the past. I think I heard those words in Lion King or some other Disney film, ha! I guess Walt really was full of corny cliché lines that held so much truth.

Looking back up at the persons standing before me I can see that his super hero pose has become somewhat deflated and a look of hurt is gracing his unique features. Well great now he's making me feel all guilty, maybe I'll explain it too him later but for now I need to clear the tense air. "It would be too embarrassing and I wouldn't feel comfortable at all" Well the nervous laugh that followed that line and my hand rising to scratch the back of my neck really added too the affect. See I'm a great actress and it seemed to ignite the gusto back into this freak.

"Ah, I apologize, very well you shall call me Gai or Gai-san if you wish and do not forget too put as much youthful energy into each word you speak!" AHHH! My eyes! My beautiful eyes, there burning, I'm blind. What the hell kind of pose is that, he must have been a member of the governments interrogation unit as just one look at that smiling set of pearly whites with the small ping that emits a glow as bright as the sun not to mention that damn arm thrown ahead with the ridiculous thumbs up would have any criminal spilling their guts just to make it stop.

"Gai-san here are all of Sakura's possession, I will be back in two weeks too check on her progress here in Konoha, please take good care of her" Iruki-bastard, thank you! I will build a large statue of you just so that I may worship the ground you walk on and I'll chant using a strange jumble of words all the while wearing an assortment of bright and freaky clothes. Why you may ask? Because you have saved me from having to gouge out my eyes with tiny little forks. I could kiss you, but you would be labeled a petifile and I would be required to receive intensive therapy.

"Wait? Did you say you're leaving me?" with this freak I'll add quietly. "Of course, weren't you listening, this is your new foster home, here in the town of Konoha, and Gai-san here is your new foster parent." You mean that wasn't a joke? How can someone like this green beast creature qualify to become a foster parent? I honestly think he's mentally insane but then again I'm not someone who can really say something like that.

"Well Sakura, this is goodbye for now, I'll leave any further explanations to Gai-san as he has been briefed on everything you need to know, but this being your ninth foster home I'm certain you already know the standard protocol that comes with each foster parent. Please behave, I have high hopes for you" Aww aren't you sweet and the cute little pat to the head just raises the sugar level to such an extreme that any diabetic would pale and die at the sight. Don't you understand how retarded you're being? You're leaving me with someone who'll probably end up killing me slowly with shiny pingy teeth, large eyebrows and green spandex. "But, but but…" Oooh my linguistic abilities rival that of Martin Luther King Jr. "No buts, I know you can do this" Thanks, I feel so much better but it's not a matter if I can do it, it's a matter of can the lunatic beside me. Bending down with your hand on my shoulder now eh? Wise guy aren't we, well you've been looking to get beat all morning so one swift punch to the jaw might knock some sense into you.

So what do you do when I raise my fist too hit you? You embrace me, what a dense guy to think that is was what I was initiating. Even though you're a bastard your kind, so just this once I'll allow this as the goodbye to the grief I've put you through today.

"Goodbye Sakura"

"Goodbye Iruka-san"

Yeah, and just this once, I'll call you by that name.

I don't really know what I'm feeling when I watch you smile at me as you put the car into reverse and slowly drive away. You offer me one last wave of the hand before you're zooming down the road vanishing into the distance with the roar of that crappy neon the last thing I hear until you cease to exist too my senses. I guess I feel a little sad, I can't explain it I mean hell we didn't really talk, in fact I think all I did was piss you off from the moment I stepped into that car, but I suppose it was the fact you showed me a type of kindness and concern foreign to my being since _that day._ I know we will meet again, that two week notice is a definite guarantee of that.

"Such a kind man eh Sakura-chan? Well anyways, lets get you set up, I've prepared a room for you, it's not much but I'm certain your youthful spirit will bring with it a certain zest to fill its walls." Oh right, I'm stuck with lima been here, hey I like that name, it certainly adds 'zest' too my boring list of names for you. I'm sighing, ha first day and I'm sighing, common Sakura look on the bright side, Iruki-bastard saved you the trouble of remembering what foster home number this was. Nine. I didn't think it had been that many already. Well lucky for me lima been here has some sense of chivalry as he is carrying all my things. Guess he's stronger than he looks to be able to lift those two suitcases. After all they probably weigh a tone with the crap I've carried around with me over the years, and even still those don't even contain my most important possessions. Oh no, those are placed in the knapsack currently residing on my back.

Well it looks like the green dude is already inside better hurry up before I get mulled by rampaging dirt squirrels or whatever else might litter the grounds of this place.

Stepping inside the uhh…house, it's actually a lot better inside than out, surprisingly enough. Wow, I thought it would be a lot smaller. Well let's see what we have, okay living room not too shabby, a nice forest green carpet with dark mahogany walls, little old fashioned but still alright. Well at least this freak can match a bit as the coffee and side tables compliment the wood adorning the walls perfectly, and the couches? Well they look comfortable…black? That's seems an odd choice for a guy so focused on youthful passion.

Why is it that I continuously find my mouth hitting the floor today? Well I can't really process that information right now as I think I've wandered off too la-la land. A recliner people, and not just any recliner a La-Z-Boy recliner, and too think they say all people who live in trailers are poor. I can hear the squeals of delight already erupting from my lips, just look at the fine detail on that bad boy. Black like the couches but leather, and from my angle I think I can see the controls for the massage option, and is that possibly a CD drive? Music, Halleluiah praise the lord! I wonder how many other neat little functions I will find once my feet glide me over to the goddess of all chairs. But ah that can wait for now, I better finish my self-guided tour. Apparently though I'm just going to continuously die and go to heaven today as my eyes have landed on the entertainment portion of this room. Judging from the look of things, it's a 42" plasma screen TV, with a surround sound, a DVD system is set up and is that Playstation 3? Is that even out yet? Who the hell is this guy and why would some rich freak dressed like a bad impression of Richard Simmons be living in such a crappy dump if he could afford stuff like this?

Seems I'll be privileged to a little detective work during my stay here. Roaming my eyes once again around the room it appears my earlier ideas of a tacky and horribly decorated room are only slightly correct as my pupils have found themselves upon the ugliest lamp I could have ever imagined. The twitch in my eye is starting to give me a headache but I could care less as another horror has graced my vision today. What the hell? Why oh why would this retarded celery stick looking man have a lamp that looked like that? It was, well how do I describe such a sight, disturbing maybe? I mean what sort of foster parent would be allowed to hold within their abode a lamp revealing to innocent eyes such as mine the naked flesh of a woman's leg complete with fishnet stockings and a garter adorning the top. How could I tell such a perverted piece of merchandise was a lamp, simple first there's a cord attached to the strappy black high heal that's hooked onto the foot of the contraption and second there's a glowing light coming from that woman degrading piece of garbage that makes me want to kick lima beans ass.

Breath in Sakura, just take deep breaths and continue on your merry way. Glancing to my left I noticed the kitchen beside me, perhaps I'll concentrate on that for the time being. Well the counter tops are black marble, funny I didn't think mister cheer could be so morbid. Well at least things look alright, except for a very disrespectful lamp that I am going to shove so far up that green ape's ass. Breath, just breath dammit. Okay moving onward, there's an island in the middle of the kitchen with pots and pans hanging above it and the cupboards match the walls and living room furniture, pfff how boring.

Ah! Now what do we have here? He, he, he, looks like I'll be able to put that big brain of mine to work seeing as the kitchens tiled floors are those of a black and white checkerboard, perfect for a large game of chess. I could be like Harry Potter, though I don't think I'll find people willing enough to knock one another out when their piece is captured. The fridge looks big and metal, how bland, I expected much more colour with this freak.

"Sakura-chan? Are you coming?" Guess this mini-tour has to end for now, bah it was boring anyway. Now where is that mentally retard celery? Ah ha! A hallway, kind of narrow buy meh, I'm not complaining. "Where are you Gai-san?" Hmm perhaps calling him that won't be so bad; I doubt he'll appreciate the names circulating within my brain anyways. "Glad to see you exert such enthusiasm too each task Sakura-Chan, I am in here" Turning too the door on my right I opened to find the familiar feeling of my mouth hitting the floor. To say I'm surprised would be an understatement. I don't think I've ever had such a nice room in my sixteen years of living on this earth. The light green walls held such a comforting feeling that I couldn't help but smile at the sight. I had removed my shoes when stepping into the house and my bare feet found the feel of the beige carpet beneath me to be soft creating an ultimate sensation of peace. Bah, what am I thinking, I'm leaving here shortly so there's not point in getting comfortable. Okay! Chin up, eyes front and now to find that green beast.

"Sakura-chan, what do you think of this green explosion of youthful vigor?" Standing by the bed eh? Thinking dirty thoughts are we Gai-san? Well maybe that's just me but I see you have already deposited my bags on that bed that looks oh so inviting. Queen size if I'm not mistaken, but the comforter matches the wall, same with the pillows, though the touches of white sheets and cushions adds a nice affect, I can honestly say Gai-san your nothing like the person you appear too be. Scanning the area again I notice the desk lying in the corner beside a large window covered by white curtains. Since when do such large windows, not to mention such space exist in trailers? I'll definitely look into this more. Moving onward I see you've also furnished this room with a bookshelf, probably littered with books on youth, and my own television set placed beside that. Two doors? Why two? Well one obviously a closet, but the other? Well I'll worry about that latter. "It's so…wonderful Gai-san…thank you"

I can honestly say I'm touched, it's nice too see someone put such effort into making another feel welcome. "Think nothing of it Sakura-chan, you are beautiful and full of youth and therefore deserve such a stunning and exquisite room to call your own, now I will allow you too unpack, seeing as the sun is about to set, I shall prepare dinner for us, now do you have any particular favourites?" I honestly can't remember the last time I've felt so carefree or happy, but hearing the words favourite food out of Gai-san's lips I don't think he'll ever understand how grateful I am at this moment. "Bowtie pasta" Yes that's right, the food of Kami-sama himself! Bowtie pasta is superb in everyway and exceeds all other pastas hands out. Many find my taste odd but that is simply because they are uneducated fools who couldn't possibly comprehend the sheer work that goes into creating the perfect dish of pasta. "Bowtie pasta?" Was that surprise? Is he insulting my choice? and too think I was going to let that leg lamp slide but if he utters one more – "What an excellent choice, I haven't had that in such a long time and it is one of my favourites too, ah Sakura-chan your youthfulness surprises me, I am positive this arrangement will work out" He's walking out the door and all I can offer is a feeble half ass smile…yeah workout.

Lying back in the bed, that as predicted was as comfortable as a giant marshmallow, I find myself pondering each and every aspect of my life. The conversation at dinner was rather enjoyable, I learned a lot about Gai-san and even discovered that our love for bowtie pasta was not the only quality we shared in common. For instance, green is also my favourite colour, well mainly the emerald colour found in my eye, always though it worked well with my bubblegum hair. Wouldn't it be cool if my hair actually was bubblegum? Well it would be sticky, probably run out of flavour eventually too, but still it's a fun idea, perhaps I could fit in at Willy Wonka's factory or something. Also Gai-san and I find it impeccable too keep up with physical fitness, though we both have a bit of a sweet tooth. He enjoys reading and he's officially my hero for when I mentioned my ability at the piano he insisted to purchase said instrument within the week. I guess he really is crazy.

He explained to me that he was actually a teacher at the local high school I would be attending, gym and geography being his areas of expertise. So that explained the money, teachers were paid high salaries after all. Since it was summer vacation for a few more weeks, Gai-san was still enjoying his holidays and had decided that he was somewhat lonely and desired some company thus bringing him to the Children's Aid foster program. As luck would have it he had wanted a person who is "bursting with youthful vigor" and since I was the only one available at the moment had been sent here. I was happy too hear that Gai-san was rather lenient with rules and asked only that I clean up after myself and be home before 1:00am on weekends and 11:00 on school nights. We covered all the basics about each other and I found myself starting to see the person behind those very fuzzy eyebrows and I can honestly say that I like my new living arrangement.

Its so sad, so tragic, I should probably write a poem or something, but right now I think I'll enjoy the time I have with Gai-san because I know that within a few weeks, months tops, that I'll be placed back within the care of Children's Aid, why? Because I am cursed and no matter what I do the curse of the girl destined to be alone, is one that not even the great Gai-san will be able to break.

So I'll lie here, hoping, hoping that I can stay here just a little longer because I know that this is going to be my most memorable foster home yet.

All I can say is, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore…

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**Tsumii: **Sooo? What do you think, I don't really like this chapter, ha its my first one too, but I found it to boring and I couldn't get the Sakura POV to fit the way I wanted it to but meh, its only the first chapter and I want this too take time and not rush into anything, I don't know if Sasuke or anyone else will appear in the next chapter, I want Sakura too take her time adjusting to Konoha, and therefore don't want to throw a whole bunch of characters at her at once. Why Gai? Quite frankly I have no idea, I mean they have like no interaction in the series but he always makes me chuckle and since I made Sakura slightly unstable in this fic I wanted to have a character that you can do anything crazy with and it would just fit, so yeah Gai seemed like a fun choice.

I'm not really sure if I'll continue you this, but meh will see, please review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Tsumii: **Well hello again! It's been a while hasn't it? Sorry for my delayed update. I would just like to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews; they were really helpful in encouraging me to continue.

I realized last chapter was very slow and rather boring…and I apologize but I must inform you that this chapter is kinda the same way, its next chapter I assure you that the story picks up because like I said I want to set these chapters as the building blocks to build up a story I hope you will all love. And I was quite late on the update that hopefully will not be happening again.

A lot of you mentioned my run on sentences, ahh I know I couldn't seem to shorten them but hazaa! I am pretty sure I fixed that…hopefully…

By the way, I don't think this chapter was exactly edited to perfection…so there are possible spelling mistakes and grammar errors littering the page, sorry about that

**Summary:** So what happens when young Sakura Haruno finds herself being thrown into another foster home, in a trailer park no less, having to deal with freaks, creeps and geeks? Not too mention schools a disaster, home life should be on paper view and what the devil is a Junkyard War? Oh the humanity! SasuSaku

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, if you here otherwise it's all lies!

**NOTE:** I decided to keep it in Sakura's demented POV because no one complained about it, but if people want me to switch it or something please tell me.

**Junkyard Wars**

**Chapter Two**

Oof.

Yup that's my morning alright, summed up into one little word. Currently I find myself sprawled across the floor hair looking as if Medusa herself possessed me while I stare with groggy eyes at the dark blur currently above me.

"….the hell?" I find myself mumbling. "Ah Sakura-chan it is the summer of your youth and you must prepare for such a glorious day by joining me with a morning exercise!"

"I don't want French toast! Gimme pie!" Yes, that would be delicious right now but the ugly blob above seems to have other ideas right now. "Now, now Sakura-chan, we shall eat to our hearts content once we have completed our work out, for now please get dressed as I will be expecting too see your youthful self outside with the proper attire in five minutes"

He has got to be kidding me, I was having pleasant dreams and the retarded celery just had to disrupt my magical pony rides and happy singing flowers. I think 'It's a Small World' is going to be in my head all day now.

Shifting so that the blankets who decided to join me fall to the ground I sluggishly roll into a sitting position. Gai-san you are truly dense if you think I'm getting up at…is that a five? FIVE IN THE MORNING! A girl needs her beauty sleep you dumbass! This is ridiculous; but I guess it doesn't matter now seeing as I'm already up anyways.

Standing up I smooth out my pajamas and move towards my bathroom. Yeah I discovered what was behind lucky door number two. I've never had my own bathroom before so excuse me for the little bubbly feeling that has surfaced in my gut.

Oof.

Like I said this is my morning. I forgot the simple fact that the blankets are still tied around my ankles and have now discovered that that new carpet smell is reaching my nostrils. This is ridiculous, that's probably going to leave a bruise. Picking myself back up I continue with my morning routine.

Having placed my belongings away last night I knew the proper placement of each so now I find myself outside the ugly silver crap thing with a very enthusiastic green freak. I think he must have popcorn in him because that's the only explanation I can offer for he incessant need to pop and hop every which way that or he's having a seizure.

"Glad to see you exert such youthful energy into your mornings Sakura-chan, not to mention you looking stunning with your hair tied in that ponytail, it really shows your youth!" Is this man incapable of not mentioning the word youth in every sentence?

And so what if my hairs in a ponytail, I actually prefer it this way, keeps the hair of my face. "Gai-san, it's too early" I grumbled out, hopefully he'll let me go back to sleep. "Nonsense, the day is full of youthful passion and we shall show our spirit through rigorous exercises that will leave us tired but filled with a flood of glorious passion!" I don't even think I know what he's talking about anymore, bah it doesn't matter. "Fine, let's get this show on the road, what do you have in mind?"

"Why my dear I thought you'd never ask. First we will engage in youthful stretching exercises before leaving the premises in a light jog and heading to a cute little students of mines abode" Ooooh he just had to pose again didn't he.

"Wait…cute little students abode? Are we picking up someone?" Confusion, feel the the power of the question mark baby!

"Why of course Sakura-chan, you must meet my cute student Lee; he is always filled with youth and is the perfect candidate to join us is such exhilarating activities!" Tears. This idiot is crying just talking about another person…Gai-san you're too emotional.

Wait! Okay I'm up, I'm burning with…uhh...youthful passion? But what do you mean another person is joining us? You're not trying to make me make friends are you?

"Sakura-chan, I know you will fall for the charms of my adorable student, as he possesses the beauty of an angel, the grace of a swan, the voice of a – "

"Okay, okay, Gai-san I see your point, he's amazing now can we get going?" Homosexual baboon! Hell yeah! You suck, talking about a student like that, how pedophilic can you get? …FREAK!

Oof

I've hit the ground with a large sweat drop lingering in the air. This word is my morning as I have just met the "adorable Lee" and now I know better that to buy into anything celery man says. I should have realized that Gai-sans definition of beauty would be himself. Yes it's like I'm looking into a mirror, well not my own mirror (I AM NOT A STICK OF CELLERY!) but Gai-sans mirror.

Perhaps this is how Gai-san looked like when he was younger, no matter, the mini version scares me to the same extreme.

Are those hearts in his eyes, can people even have heartish eyes? Why is there a slight trickle of drool running from mini-freaks open mouth? Sorry buddy didn't anyone tell you salivation is not your colour?

"Uh…hi?" Why do I sound so timid? Probably just nerves that or I'm just scared the little tyke will pounce on me any second.

He's marching, he's marching as if Hitler himself holds a scrutinizing gaze upon his being. Why the hell is little soldier boy marching towards me?

"Sakura-san!" What a…uh…strange voice, especially when it's trying to sound so formal. I didn't know someone could have a voice that sounded like a sheep and little girl were rammed down its throat.

"..yes?" Look little timid me has returned. "Will you do me the honour of accepting my request to go out with me?" Hope. Hope, hope, hope, hope and more hope. That's all I'm seeing as I look into the dark pools of some very unusual eyes.

My head bows low as if some invisible dude is pushing it. The stray bangs that have fallen loose from the light jog to Lee's shroud my eyes in a pink blanket as my arms fall limply at my sides. 

"No, you're lame…" Looking up to see soldier boy's reaction I find myself oddly confused. Did his eyebrows prevent him from hearing, or maybe he's secretly a 90 year old man that shrunk and can't hear anything except the sound of his voice screaming what! No matter the odd glimmer of…youthful passion (damn Gai-sans rubbing off on me) is starting to creep me out and the shiver running down my spine is certainly not from delight.

"You are truly a woman to be admired Sakura-san, such passion, such youth, you will be the woman who will one day bare my children!" What the flying dog shit fuck? Perhaps I'll think about that last line later right now my mind must process what the scrawny warrior of youth just said.

Twitch. Vein emerging. Eyes burning for bloodshed. Fist clenching. Fire igniting in an inferno around me. Yup that about sums up my current visage.

"Ahh Lee-kun, I approve of your choice, Sakura-chan is a beautiful beacon that showers everyone with an ethereal light of hope and youth! To think of her as a mother, especially of such an adorable student is like a fairytale fantasy!" Gai is posing. Lee is crying. Wait no their both crying. Now their hugging. A giant wave is crashing in the background with a sunset gleaming along with it. And what is this? I'm still as red and as thoroughly pissed off as a pregnant woman whose ice-cream craving wasn't satisfied. As if adding oil to the fire wasn't enough these two morons have got me thinking about children now. I don't even like kids, there annoying, complete crybabies, wimps and the most retarded things come out of their constantly flapping mouths. Bill Cosby was right when he said "Kids Say the Darndest Things".

"Gai-sensei, Sakura-san is a new challenge I shall embrace wholeheartedly! If she wants to play a game of hard to get than I brave this test of my undying devotion and come out victorious!"

"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT-UP!" Oops. Looks like temperamental me has emerged to unleash her hordes of freakish tongue lashings on the poor souls of earth.

"Sakura-chan, it seems we are spending far to much time dilly dallying, are morning exercises have been abandoned due to your youthful spirit and we must continue in order to pursue a feeling of accomplishment! Lets move forward team" My dilly dallying? What the fuck is Gai-san saying, MY dilly dallying? And what the hell is dilly dallying anyway? I swear this mans gay. Well whatever these two appear to be done for now, so it looks like our morning excursion is about to commence.

Oh goody.

Pain. Hurt. Wound. Injury. Ouch. Cancer. Okay maybe no the last one but the previous five for sure. My body is aching. Knives are stabbing every nerve of my being. I'm lying on my bed currently as it is 9:00 pm on a Saturday night. It's been a little over a week since I arrived here and currently the Gai and Lee or Gee (as I like to call them) morning exercises are taking there toll on me.

I personally am proud to announce that I am a physically fit girl. Karate and sports will do that to you. But what Gai and Lee plan each day for our crack of dawn rooster calling work outs are just inhuman. I am hurting in places I did not even know existed until this week. Hmm…perhaps I should draw a map of my body, but then I might get disturbed or some pervert might find it. Ewww…what a strange thought.

Sometimes its like we're preparing for a marathon or something because all we do is run, and jog, and run and stretch, and run and then you guessed it run some more. Or maybe Gai-sans planning on taking me to Spain along with Lee and then thrusting me into the streets just as the legendary bull running begins? Who knows all I know is that I hurt.

First impressions are a bitch. Why? Because more than half the time they are completely false. In my time here I have been proven this fact thrice. Or three times for those dictionary challenged few.

Iruki-bastard was the first. He who I thought was just some Children's Aid worker that hated all kids and was only putting up with me because he had too, proved to be a happy-go-lucky really sweet guy who adored children and tried his hardest just to put a smile on my face. If the guy had been food, ten bucks said he'd be sugar.

Then came Gai-san. My first impression was that of a deformed, child molesting, green obsessed, secretly homosexual beast but once again these thoughts were almost (he actually does have a green obsession and I'm not to sure about the child molesting and homosexual attributes either) destroyed. He actually proved to be a kind and understanding man who is filled with a sort of energy to help those around him and to find the time to spend moments with some of the most bizarre company. If Iruki-bastard was sugar, than he most certainly was a green spice.

Now the final member of the thrice club of proving Sakura first impressions are not always what they appear would be Lee. Rock Lee has scared me in ways Freddy and Jason could only dream of. He is unique too sum him up. A miniature version of Gai-san who holds many of the older mans attributes and a few quirks of his own. I had first seen soldier boy as frightening. Thick eyebrows, cartoon like eyes, green spandex suits, his utterly creepy undying affections for me and let's not forget the pose that had apparently been passed down to him from his idol. Overall first impressions deemed Lee to be someone all must avoid like the plague. Though if someone were to take a peak at what lay behind the gastronomically huge eyebrows then they would find what I have in just over a week.

Rock Lee was the epitome of hard work and determination.

Lee is absolutely the most innocent and sweetest guy around. And let me just clarify that sweet is not a word located in my vocabulary. I believe I had chicken pox when that lesson was given to the deranged children of Mrs. Schnicklepitz's grade three class of View Point Elementary.

He also respects my wishes completely about my choice on not dating him, though he will still randomly ask for the odd date. I understand that though, I mean common who could resist this face? Right…that its. I just think he's a tad too stubborn and it's going to take a bulldozer to ram an intelligent thought through that footfall helmet incased head of his. Football helmet? I must say I was a fanatic Simpsons fan at one point, holding the odd worshiping session while holding up dead sheep claiming them too be sacrifices to the glorious god known as Lord Homer but that was a long time ago. However that was a long long time ago. What? Don't believe me? Well you can kiss my fanny! Ooooo…fanny, I sound old! Well let's get back to Lee…

He trusts me. Why escapes me. I myself have not given trust to anyone in a decade's length of time but still I find myself divulging the odd minuscule tidbits about myself. Notice the key words people…miniscule and tidbit. Tidbit! That reminds me of Tinbits! Oh I haven't had one of those in the longest time! Have you ever been to Canada? Well I can't really recall the occasion as it was a time when I was dreaming about magical fairy worlds that trapped me in their spell and led me to become queen of the weird wing people. However I do recall stopping at a Tim Horton's. I am not that heavily a hockey fan, but this guy was just a legend people! And he made the greatest food chain imaginable. Back to my point I had a tinbit….and it was good. Read good. Mmm…chocolate glazed. I keep getting sidetracked back to Lee.

Lee doesn't even mind that I call him soldier boy. The nickname stuck, what can I say? He also tends to (much like Gai-san) flatter me endlessly, whether it's my looks (what the deuce they see still puzzles me) or personality (am I or am I not just a wittle angel?) I never find myself feeling down or hurt like the past 11 years of my life always seemed to bring. He's kind of like Barney. Okay that's weird and came out wrong. I just mean what kid was not brought happiness through the being of a giant purple dinosaur with a voice Michael Jackson would envy? Lee makes me smile, just like dino dude did.

He also took martial arts much like myself and even a few gymnastic courses. He even offered to show me a few moves that he developed himself. His training really shows though, while he may look scrawny and weak to most, Lee is fit and in his top physical form, bursting with such enthusiasm I can only stop and stare. Like seriously, this guy just won't quit. I have never met such a determined and driven guy in my sixteen years of living.

I also found out that he happens to be a year older than me, the ripe old age of seventeen, and is attending the same school. At least I'll have one friendly face to find, that is if I'm even staying hear another week and a half. Who knows, I still have the inspection to make it through, and I may end up doing something stupid. Now since I've clarified that Iruki-bastard is sugar, Gai-san is spice that must mean Lee is everything nice…or something like that. You know I bet I could make the perfect little girl. Though adding chemical X would give me a Powerpuff Girl that would scare O.J. but that's beside the point.

I'm happy. I can honestly say that. While I may have the two strangest creatures for friends at the moment they never seem to stop making me smile. Kindness is a rare thing for me, I haven't exactly been showered with it in a long time but to receive it from three different people in such a short period of time is absolutely mind combobulating. Now that my inner monologues are finished for the evening I should probably get to bed, what time is it anyway? 10:06 pm. Shit, I have another session of Gee tomorrow too.

After the routine tasks of changing and hygiene etiquette bestowed upon me since I could form a word besides "Guuuu" (what baby wasn't gurgling?) I lie now staring at the ceiling of a room I never thought I'd inhabit within the home of a man I never thought existed. Life was kind of like Jerry Springer. It just keeps throwing out more bizarre and thoroughly amusing twists.

These being the last thoughts on my mind as I've drifted back into "It's a Small World" and rows of singing flowers.

Oof.

Why oh why oh why why why why did I have to be cursed with such a strict fitness freak for a foster parent. Tilting my head backwards from the floor I so gracefully landed on I can see the glaring red numbers of my clock beaming the lines that form 5:00am into the darkened quarters known as my bedroom.

"Sakura-chan, please get up we will have to be cutting our morning exercises short today so please hurry and get dressed!" Do I have lint in my ears or is God just happy to see me? Didn't make sense? Well didn't have because this is my mind and logic doesn't have to make sense in the mind of one Haruno Sakura. Well back to my original point, did I just hear right? Will I really be losing out on some torture time of Gee? Kiss me its Christmas! But wait…what calls for such an occasion?

"Gai-san, are you drunk?" Or I could be retarded and ask dumb questions but that okay! "Drunk? My heavens know! I possess youth, but even 5:00 in the morning is still too early for me to become intoxicated. But if you are wondering why today we are cutting our work out short it is due to the fact Iruka-san shall be coming to give his two week inspection". Oooh well now that we haven't ventured into an episode of the Magic School Bus and all is right in world once more I can get on with my life. Hold on…did he just say Iruki-bastards coming? That's today? Has it seriously been two weeks? Well paint me grey and call me an elephant (or something like that) time flies when your…uh…being creeped out.

"I'll be out in a minute" The tousled pile of blankets that was me called to the retreating green figure known as Maito Gai.

"Sakura-chan! It's so good to see you again, how are you?" Sugar. This man puts Captain Crunch to shame. "Why Iruki-san, I'm great thank you for your concern" See I can do it too, though my sweetness might make you gain a cavity. He's sighing? Why is he sighing? Meh, as long as he offers the godsend of bowtie pasta and doesn't call me missy I'm okay.

"It's Iruka! It would appear your manners still have not improved in the short two week break we have been apart. No matter, I am pleased to hear that you are fine" Been apart? He makes it sound like were old lovers, the lunchbox. Did I just call him a lunchbox? Must be my stomach I haven't eaten anything yet today, perhaps Aretha Franklins "I Will Survive" should be my theme song or something.

"So Iruki-san, what's the details of this little inspection of yours?" I'm curious, here I am seated in Gai-sans living room, while Gai-san himself works away in the kitchen preparing lunch, waiting to hear if I have to jump through loops in order to stay (even for just a little longer) at the first house I want to call home.

"Nothing serious, Sakura-chan, I'm just going to ask you both a few questions about the treatment you each give one another and ask Gai-san about the food regiment he prepares for you." Regiment? Am I in the army or something…oh well if this is boot camp I would really like to see heaven. Perhaps soldier boy is around and has informed Iruki-bastard of our morning exercise. As for the checkup, doesn't sound too drastic, just as long as the pedophile doesn't get too personal with his questioning. Why might you ask is he a pedophile? I can just see his eyes screaming at me "I AM A SLAVE TAKE ME NOW!" and quite frankly its starting the freak me out. Well he's either looking at me or the provocative leg lamp behind me, for his sake I'm hope it just a small hamster named Mister Fluff Muff that has waltzed into Gai-sans trailer and is now climbing the wall behind my head. Where did such a creature come from? I don't know, I just hope he has a hamster fetish…maybe I'm imagining things again. Or I'm just hungry.

"Lunch is ready!"

Oh great burning balls of fire I'm famished!

"Let's eat" is all I can find myself shouting as I dart for the breakfast counter eager to taste the prepared egg salad sandwiches and chocolate milk. Gai-san must be a psychic for he always seems to get meals just right.

The visit with Iruki-bastard had been rather enjoyable; I guess I actually missed the guy after all. Funny I've never gotten the slightest bit of attachment to anyone before after meeting them for only a day but Iruki-bastard is too special for his own good.

I'm lying on my bed again, staring at the ceiling, thoughts passing through my mind for brief instances before tumbling off into unknown corners for days when I actually want to process them. I'm a person who likes to think, and usually I prefer to do my thinking outdoors, however the only inch of town I have explored happens to be the west end of the trailer where Lee and Gai-san both reside. The groceries seem to appear almost magically as I am yet to discover when Gai-san actually goes shopping. Perhaps my detective work will be a bit harder during my time hear.

I have a week. Exactly one week until I begin my second last year of high school. I'm not nervous. Why should I be? New school? So what? I've faced that problem numerous times, the girls piss me off no matter where I attend and the boys just make me want to throw them through windows. I'm not that big of a people person, I don't connect with many people, sure I get along, but my mind works in such strange and complicated ways that most people just don't understand me. I'm not trying to brag or boast and be conceited but I can admit I am of a higher intellect than most teens my age. I just find school easy. Things click for me where as others just run around as if playing shoots and ladders. What people find really strange is that I actually enjoy school. Sure sometimes it's really annoying and frustrating when you have to deal with people who are just plain brain dead not to mention snobby girls and arrogant guys but overall I love increasing my knowledge and learning new things. After all knowledge is power.

I may make myself sound a little too perfect what with the athletic abilities, high marks and compliments on my looks (I'm still unsure of wear Gai-san Lee come up with that last one) but all those attributes are only a shell of the person buried beneath them. I admit I probably hold a lot of emotional baggage piled within the trunk known as my brain but I also know because of what I've faced growing up its made me a stronger person. I have my faults just like everyone and I hate it when no one realizes that fact.

Bah look at me I'm too serious, so schools in a week, big whoop…but then again if moving here has made me feel so…content? Hmm, don't know if that's the best word to describe my feelings but anyways. I can only just imagine what the school year is going to have in store for me. It's late, and Gee is back in session tomorrow so I think I'll turn in for the night.

Oof.

Yup, you've guessed it I've fallen out of bed again and it's all due to the celery stick wonder known as Gai-san.

"Sakura-chan you must get ready, I have to leave early seeing as I'm a teacher and must be prompt but you must get up as I will not be able to wake you in half an hour's time. Please use your youth to arrive at school on time for your first day. I will see you later, have a good day!" And with that the green beast was out of the silver submarine with a loud slam. I could hear the car engine as he began to take off.

School. Right that's today, the week seemed to fly by and my muscles have finally gotten used to the rigorous training Gee likes to put me through.

I stood from the warm little blanket abyss letting out a loud yawn while stretching my tired limbs. Heading towards my closest I pulled from the racks a neatly pressed uniform before strolling myself strait into the bathroom for a nice morning shower.

I had arrived at school without delay besides the odd rabies infested raccoon that ran retardedly in circles while I stopped at a traffic light. Oh yeah you're probably wondering about the car, turns out Gai-san is too generous for his own good, I mean like buying the piano wasn't enough the green freak went and bought me a used car. Not that I'm complaining or anything but wow, never thought anyone was so kind. Yeah my baby, the love of my life, my Bernardo! Don't question the name; I thought Bernardo was the perfect choice. I currently drive a black jeep. Think that's a boring explanation then fine I'll elaborate. Bernardo is a beast! Tiger baby! He may be an older model but the interior looks almost new and the exterior just needs a light touch up job. So the sounds systems not top notch it's still pretty decent and the car is in perfect working condition. How Gai-san managed to find such a beauty is beyond me.

Now that the cars a little less foggy I need to explain why a sixteen year old has her full license. Well my birthday was in early March, and I was granted permission to take drivers Ed, and since like most learning things I excelled and became top of my class. Due to the unusually high achievement rate I possessed I was granted an early chance to obtain my license. If you must know I only achieved my full license a week before coming to Gai-sans house, so I'm not the most experienced driver.

Why the hell am I even thinking about this shit, I've got a new school to attend. Glancing down at the school uniform I actually don't mind the design or the colours. It's a simple tight fitted button up white blouse with short sleeves (due to the weather, I do no want to be sweating buckets thank you very much) a black tie around the collar, a black pleated skirt that went just a little above the knee and knee length black and white socks. There was also a black blazer but that was optional and I feel it completely destroys my image people. I am not fashion queen or girly girl (why did it have to be a skirt anyways) but even I am aware when something is a "fashion disaster".

Lacing the car keys through my finger before locking the jeep and then shoving them in the side of my black backpack I turn to face the building that will remain my school for however long I am positioned in Konoha.

Well….its big?

**Tsumii:** Well lmao that was sooo boring! I'm sorry! Okay I had to speed it up a bit because lets face it…it was soooo slow! And I think I lacked any humour in the last little bit but meh…I'm tired and I needed to finish this as it was bugging me…

Well Lee was introduced, and Iruka came back, next chapter is will definitely hold the members of team seven as well as some other introductions…I know the first two chapters have been quite the drag but they were my building blocks so you the readers could get a look into the unstable mind of Haruno Sakura, I haven't completely figured out how I'm going to introduce everyone yet, but I know not everyone will be there or if they are it wont really hold an impact…as I said I'm not going to throw a thousand people at Sakura all at once and expect her to build these amazing friendships and relationships in a week. Reality is going to be a key factor in my fic, this is not some happy fairytale where everything works out…just wanted to point that out…

Please Read and Review, the reviews are really inspirational and encouraged me to not only finish this chapter but continue this fic! Thanks guys!


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